I’m going to be pretty real here for a few moments. I had a rough night/morning. I didn’t sleep well at all. Dan and I have a list of changes and transitions going on in our household, which I will discuss more once we have more clarity (Prayers appreciated), and I confess I let my mind go in places of worry that it didn’t need to go to last night. Yes, I know what the word of God says. I believe it. I know God is with us, we will have good success, and all will be well….sigh, sometimes God gets you in situations to stretch you and work your faith and I know it’ll all work out, but I’m kind of kicking and screaming at the moment. (Joshua 1:1-10, Jer 29:11) It is true that the battlefield is in the mind, and I know that victory is ours says the Lord.
As a result of a super lack of sleep, I was a bit edgy this morning. I grumped at Dan and the girls. I made the mistake of going to the Wal-Mart closest to my house to get groceries. English is not the primary language at that Wal-Mart. The lady working at the deli needed a translator to fill my order. I stood there for at least 20 minutes while she did, and I wanted to start crying. Since my acrobatic encounter this weekend (see Monday’s Blog), my ankle is still a tad on the sensitive side and while I stood there trying to explain to the lady what I wanted I could feel my ankle starting to swell. For some reason, maybe it’s just me, but I tend to be a target in Wal Mart for people to cut me off in grocery traffic, and for kids to be screaming near me. Seriously? By the time I made it to the check out and sorted my coupons I thought I might be physically ill. I admit I wasn’t overflowing with the ‘fruit of the spirit’ at that moment. I didn’t snap at the cashier for not being able to run a coupon through, but I wanted too. Fortunately my kids weren’t with me at the moment because my tolerance for whining was seriously low.
Laugh at me all you want, but we’ve all been in these moments. The coffee-would-be-nice-leave-me-alone-and-no-one-gets-hurt moments that all you can do when you’re in public is hope that no one recognizes you. I had to repent to God a few times just for thinking the way I was.
I had pastors years ago that used to say that if you find yourself in the H.A.L.T (hungry, angry, lonely, or tired) then perhaps you should get some time with God and figure out what’s wrong. Perhaps those moments are not the time you want to make a life changing decision. Perhaps all you need is a nap, thus one should listen to their body and let themselves take one.
I’d like to tell you that life is just sunshine and lollypops but it isn’t. We all get in these moods, and we all need to learn when to just stop what we’re doing and take a nap, or have an apple, or a coffee. We all need to learn that we have to trust God in our lives and whatever the situation we’re in now, isn’t permanent even if it feels like it is. This too shall pass. Our current irritations will only last for a moment. Don’t fix your eyes on them, but on what is eternal. Fix your eyes on Jesus and run after them.
So yes, I had a few moments this morning. I’ve repented and will be taking a nap later this afternoon. Let my moment remind us all that worry isn’t worth the time and effort. Focus on God’s goodness, and move forward.
God has awesome plans for your life. Get excited!