Confessions from a Reformed Worrying-Controlling-Frustrated-Planner

 

In these blogs I have always gone out of my way to be very real with my readers.  So I have a confession to make.  In the years of my life, I have been a Worrying-Controlling-Frustrated-Planner.  I was a worrying kid.  I can remember staying up at nights and mulling over every little conversation and times I could of handled things better.  When I got a hold of the scriptures in Matthew 6 about worrying I got better in this area. 

Matt 6:25-34 “²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life^[e]?28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”
           
          I did really get better, but then life happened.  Things didn’t change in the timing I thought they would.  Nothing seemed to make sense in my head, and often times I felt like I walked around with a bruised forehead from banging my head against a closed door.  What I found was that I was trying to force, manipulate and plan the timing of God.  What I found is that I was increasingly more frustrated at God and grumpy in the process.  What I found is that there is no peace in that place of unrest.  A few months ago I decided that I was tired of living my life so frustrated at God.  I realize that might sound odd to you, but I began taking stock over my adult life with the Lord and I realized I’ve wasted too much time being frustrated.  Life is so short and I don’t want to get to heaven and realize I spent the majority of my time on earth trying to arm wrestle with God because I thought I knew best.  The funny thing about all of this, is that last month someone gave me a prophetic word and the just of part of it was that ‘God had closed the doors and windows’ to some things in my life until His timing.  I knew that was God because I knew He had done that. 
            So what do I do now that I realize that I had a problem?  I choose to be at peace.  I choose to accept that God knows what He is doing and I can’t wrestle, will, make manifest, His timing.  I have to trust that God sees the bigger picture, and I have to move forward.  Frustration sucks out the peace of God.  Frustration sucks out the strength you need to fulfill the plan of God. 

 

Philippians 4-9 (Message)

^4-5 Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you’re on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!

^6-7 Don’t fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God’s wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It’s wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life.

^8-9 Summing it all up, friends, I’d say you’ll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

            So perhaps you’ve found yourself in this pattern.  I want to encourage you all today that if I reformed so can you.  Be at peace.  Don’t try to wrestle God.  Trust in Him.  Give it up to Him, because He sees your end from your beginning.  Place your life in His hands, and trust that He is working in ways you may not see.

            God has awesome plans for your life.  Get excited!