Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Confessions of a Spiritual Drama Queen

Yesterday I’ll admit to having a few moments. The book releases a week from yesterday. I have felt like such a ball of emotions, and let me just say that not being run or controlled by my emotions is something I work on. I call myself an artist with words. My background is in the theatre. Most of the time artsy people can be a bit dramatic. I can hold my own in this area. However in the realm of the spiritual being a drama queen can have a downside. Often God will have you in situations where you can’t be run on your emotions. The life of a power-packed spirit-filled believer is often a life of trusting what you can’t see. Thus, I confess I’m working on it. Not that emotions are bad in anyway, but being controlled by them is. It makes God excited to make what looks to be the impossible become possible.

I kept hearing the scripture, Psalm 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” In fact I even tweeted and changed my Facebook status commenting that sometimes being still and trusting in God takes just as much faith as mighty exploits because you have to be at peace and wait on God.

So was I still and knew that he was God….ummm well I had a few moments. Then made a phone call to try to get an event set up, to find out my book wasn’t in this major book sellers system yet, and from then it kind of was a downward spiral. It ended with an apology to a precious woman of God for my freak out moment because well technically my book doesn’t release till next week, and it will be in their system soon. Hmmm somehow it doesn’t sound like I was STILL for very long. My freak out moment was a tad embarrassing.
Then my sister called me out of the blue. She told me about an Amish store she frequents that as she was walking through it saw this scripture painted on a wall hanging, and how she really felt the Lord was speaking to her through this scripture.

“Really?” I asked. “What scripture?”

“Oh,” she responded. “That one in Psalms…’be still and know that I am God.”

God has such a sense of humor. I knew that scripture was for me too. So maybe I needed to have put my dramatic theatrical emotionless aside and DO what He’s saying. Being still isn’t easy for me. I’m a bit of a bulldozer by nature and sometimes I can hear my engines wanting to rev up. Being still doesn’t mean I stop doing everything I have to do, but it means I rest in His ability and not my own.

Recently I was reading in the Bible the account of Jesus raising Lazarus from the grave. It’s found in John 11. Before all of that go down the Bible mentions that there are some people after Jesus in the disciples in the area and Thomas pipes up saying something along the line of, “What we’re going to go back there to all be killed?” I can only imagine there was a ‘freak out’ moment in his voice. I started thinking about the disciple Thomas. I guess you can say he was known for being the drama queen in the bunch of disciples. He’s most known for not believing that Jesus resurrected until He saw Him. I wanted to know what He did after Jesus ascended and by the research I found. He became a traveling missionary and was eventually martyred in India. It sounds like He picked up his destiny. Helped spread the gospel, and while yes sadly was a martyr like most the other disciples did in fact make an impact for the kingdom.

If you are a professed spiritual drama queen don’t worry, there is hope for you too. If He can use me, He can use you. Trust in God. He’s got big plans for your life. Trust Him beyond what you see. Let go of the reigns of control. Let Him be in charge. He knows what He’s doing. Just because you don’t see, touch, feel the promise yet doesn’t mean it’s not on its way. I’ll confess to being a spiritual drama queen. I confess to have a few moments yesterday, and I’ll confess to maybe bucking the whole concept of being still for long. But at the end of the day, I know my God. He’s got my situation in His hands, and I know He has yours there, if you’ll let Him . Give Him the control. I promise His ways are so much better than our own. You have to trust Him in that. Remember God has awesome plans for your life. Get excited!

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