Do I offend you?
My dear late grandmother used to always say, “Don’t expect intelligent answers out of unintelligent people.” There have been many times in life I’ve heard her quote that, and often months now after she’s left this earth to go home to be with Jesus I can still hear her say it. I’ve taken that to another level and added the two statements, “Don’t expect mature answers out of immature people,” and “Don’t expect saved and righteous answers out of unrighteous people.”
People will tick you off. It happens, and it will continue. The church is no different. I remember years ago when Dan and I had only been in our church for a few months. Here I was, moved across country from my family, I had very few friends at the church, I was doing the best I knew to raise my first daughter and I was fighting depression. Someone well meaning in the church asked Dan and I if we owned a clothes iron because they’d noticed that sometimes our clothes were a little wrinkly. I wanted to cry. I couldn’t believe of all the nerve. Truthfully though she ticked me off, I had to learn to let it go. Accept that yes, I could make a better effort of using the iron. I couldn’t hold on to my annoyance. Acts 24:16 says, “This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men.”
I am convinced that once you take on an offense from someone, it’s really easy for that person to offend you. It’s like once you’ve tasted chocolate you always have a taste for it. It’s the same with offense. Once you’ve taken on being ticked off at someone it doesn’t matter what they do, you’ll find something they’ve done to you to offend you. Suddenly just the sight of them will tick you off.
Romans 16:17 says, “Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them.” Sometimes there will be individuals that chaos and fights follow them wherever they go. You need to love these people and pray for them, but be aware they enjoy stirring up trouble. Years
ago there was a situation where this one particular gentleman and myself were constantly striving. It got so bad that he and Dan almost got into a physical confrontation over it. (He doesn’t go to our church anymore so those of you who do stop trying to figure out who it is, stop.)
God taught me a lot through all that mess. Eventually I had to confront him, and tell him I thought he was flakey. What do you do with people like that? You keep praying for them, even when you want to smack them. You try to look at them through the eyes of God. But you can’t let yourself constantly be in offense with them. You have to choose to forgive them.How can you forgive someone whose hurt you so bad? You choose to. There have been many times in my life when I’ve cried out to God because as hard as I tried to forgive them I couldn’t. I’ve said God you have to show me how. He always has. He always has. If Jesus can forgive those who mutilated Him on a cross I have no excuse to hold on to my offenses. If you hold unforgiveness in your heart the Bible says, He can’t forgive you.
When someone hurts you, you’re flesh wants to hold onto it. You want to conjure time and time again what they did to you and relive it. We’ve all heard the phase to
“forgive and forget.” I remember asking the Lord about that once. How was I suppose to forget, and here’s the revelation He gave me. We will never ‘forget’ the instance. But we must forget the emotions around it. We have to be able to look at the situation and forget the pain, hurt and anger. We must forget the offense the person caused us.
Many times I hear the phrase, “Well it’s easy for you to say, but you don’t know what this person has done to me.” It’s true I don’t, and memories are always sacred to the person who lived them. However, recently I was watching one of the extras in “The Hiding Place.” This movie is based off of Corrie Ten Boom’s life. She was a woman whose family helped many Jews escape during WWII and eventually she and her family were imprisoned in a concentration camp. She was essentially the only one that lived and in her latter years she was an evangelist to many. I’ve seen the extras when she’s talking about preaching only to see in the audience one of the nurses that used to abuse her and her sister in the camp. At first she was angry when she saw her and the anger began to rise. Then she prayed that God would show her how to love this nurse. Long story short Corrie was able to lead this woman to the Lord. It is not by our own ability that we can forgive such monstrosity. But we need the help of Jesus. Are you holding on to something today? Are you saying there is no way you can forgive someone. Ask the Lord to help you let it go. God isn’t saying you must be the person’s best friend after, but He is saying you have to let go of the offense. Choose to forgive them, so that you might
be free. So that you can walk free from offense and bitterness. Choose to let go.
People will tick you off. It happens, and it will continue. The church is no different. I remember years ago when Dan and I had only been in our church for a few months. Here I was, moved across country from my family, I had very few friends at the church, I was doing the best I knew to raise my first daughter and I was fighting depression. Someone well meaning in the church asked Dan and I if we owned a clothes iron because they’d noticed that sometimes our clothes were a little wrinkly. I wanted to cry. I couldn’t believe of all the nerve. Truthfully though she ticked me off, I had to learn to let it go. Accept that yes, I could make a better effort of using the iron. I couldn’t hold on to my annoyance. Acts 24:16 says, “This being so, I myself always strive to have a conscience without offense toward God and men.”
I am convinced that once you take on an offense from someone, it’s really easy for that person to offend you. It’s like once you’ve tasted chocolate you always have a taste for it. It’s the same with offense. Once you’ve taken on being ticked off at someone it doesn’t matter what they do, you’ll find something they’ve done to you to offend you. Suddenly just the sight of them will tick you off.
Romans 16:17 says, “Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them.” Sometimes there will be individuals that chaos and fights follow them wherever they go. You need to love these people and pray for them, but be aware they enjoy stirring up trouble. Years
ago there was a situation where this one particular gentleman and myself were constantly striving. It got so bad that he and Dan almost got into a physical confrontation over it. (He doesn’t go to our church anymore so those of you who do stop trying to figure out who it is, stop.)
God taught me a lot through all that mess. Eventually I had to confront him, and tell him I thought he was flakey. What do you do with people like that? You keep praying for them, even when you want to smack them. You try to look at them through the eyes of God. But you can’t let yourself constantly be in offense with them. You have to choose to forgive them.How can you forgive someone whose hurt you so bad? You choose to. There have been many times in my life when I’ve cried out to God because as hard as I tried to forgive them I couldn’t. I’ve said God you have to show me how. He always has. He always has. If Jesus can forgive those who mutilated Him on a cross I have no excuse to hold on to my offenses. If you hold unforgiveness in your heart the Bible says, He can’t forgive you.
When someone hurts you, you’re flesh wants to hold onto it. You want to conjure time and time again what they did to you and relive it. We’ve all heard the phase to
“forgive and forget.” I remember asking the Lord about that once. How was I suppose to forget, and here’s the revelation He gave me. We will never ‘forget’ the instance. But we must forget the emotions around it. We have to be able to look at the situation and forget the pain, hurt and anger. We must forget the offense the person caused us.
Many times I hear the phrase, “Well it’s easy for you to say, but you don’t know what this person has done to me.” It’s true I don’t, and memories are always sacred to the person who lived them. However, recently I was watching one of the extras in “The Hiding Place.” This movie is based off of Corrie Ten Boom’s life. She was a woman whose family helped many Jews escape during WWII and eventually she and her family were imprisoned in a concentration camp. She was essentially the only one that lived and in her latter years she was an evangelist to many. I’ve seen the extras when she’s talking about preaching only to see in the audience one of the nurses that used to abuse her and her sister in the camp. At first she was angry when she saw her and the anger began to rise. Then she prayed that God would show her how to love this nurse. Long story short Corrie was able to lead this woman to the Lord. It is not by our own ability that we can forgive such monstrosity. But we need the help of Jesus. Are you holding on to something today? Are you saying there is no way you can forgive someone. Ask the Lord to help you let it go. God isn’t saying you must be the person’s best friend after, but He is saying you have to let go of the offense. Choose to forgive them, so that you might
be free. So that you can walk free from offense and bitterness. Choose to let go.
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